Tales of PREGNANCY…

If you are a man, you should probably stop reading this post right now.

If you are a woman who has never been pregnant, but you would like to become pregnant some day…please stop reading.

If you are a woman who has never been pregnant and needs reason to never become pregnant…read on.

If you are a woman who has been pregnant before, please read, laugh, reminisce, and ADD your own lovely stories about pregnancy!  I would LOVE to hear that I’m not alone in this crazy world of pregnancy!

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Ok, so I’m pregnant.  I’m in my 24th week (I think) and I feel great!  I was getting ready for BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) this morning and I looked in the mirror to see a blond hair protruding from my forehead.  The dead center of my forehead.  A blond hair.  Half an inch long!  Where in the WORLD had that thing come from?!?!  I swear it wasn’t there yesterday, and if it was there then I need new friends because no one told me.

It was then that I started thinking of all the CRAZY things our bodies go through during those 40 long weeks (delivery and post partum days are a WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY!)  That’s another post, folks!

I must admit that as far as pregnancy goes, I have great pregnancies.  I have never thrown up and I actually enjoy being pregnant.  That being said, as I plucked the half inch long hair from my FACE today I was trying to think of all the “fun” things that happen during pregnancy.  I truly think it’s a little joke God plays on us to humble us before we bring children into this world who (God knows) will humble us DAILY!

So, here are a few things that I have personally experienced with my pregnancies.

• Hair growth! Seriously!  I find random single hairs in places that hair is not supposed to grow…like on my flipping forehead!  This is just sick and probably more info than any one person should ever reveal to the world wide web, but I find that my leg hair either stops growing or grows exponentially.  With Preston, I had more hair.  With the girls I had less.  I have no idea if that’s normal or just because I’m weird.  I assume it has to do with testosterone levels.  That is not a “scientifical” fact…just my own explanation.
• Facial Hair Growth. I have also experienced a mustache or beard with pregnancies.  Isn’t that a lovely thought.  Ok, it’s not like a man mustache or beard, but it was enough of a difference that i noticed it every single day.  (If this happens to you, leave it alone.  It does go away very quickly after baby is born.  I’m not sure if it would go away if you started waxing.)
• Strange cravings. With this pregnancy, I craved sour cream and cream cheese.  I was eating cream cheese by the block.  I spread sour cream on a hamburger patty for lunch one day.  WHAT?!?  I remember when I was pregnant with AnnaLeigh and all I wanted was a big fat bowl of creamy soup.  I was on my way to the Potpourri House for a huge bowl of soup when my plans were thwarted.  I literally had a meltdown like a 2-year old in the middle of my kitchen floor.  I was in the fetal position crying for soup.  Seriously!  SOUP!  When I’m pregnant if I have a strong craving for something, I truly am not satisfied until I eat it.  It makes me a little nuts, I guess.  It probably makes poor Brad a little nuts, too.  (When I was pregnant with LK, I craved Long John Silver’s fish planks.  How’s that for a little WT?)
• ZITS! I have NEVER had acne like I have it when I’m pregnant.  It wasn’t until I was 12 weeks along that I announced to my office during a sales meeting that I was pregnant, to which a co-worker of mine who has absolutely NO filter replied, “Well, I was wondering why your face was all jacked up!”  Good times!  Well, I have 7th grade acne all over again.  It’s just not pretty!  They’re not just on my face.  They’re on my arms, back, chest…places that I have never had pimples, will for some reason get pimples while I’m pregnant.
• Eczema. I find that I get a bad case of pregnancy itches on my legs and fingers.  Eczema just seems to sprout while I’m pregnant, and I itch like crazy.  My poor sister has some kind of pregnancy related rash right now (she also had it with her first) and it causes horrible all-the-time itching all over her body.
• Metal taste. With a few of my pregnancies, I felt like I had a metal or blood taste in my mouth for the entire first trimester.  I have no idea what that is, but it’s just nasty tasting.
• Nose bleeds. Self-explanatory.
• CAN’T BREATHE! From the moment I find out I’m pregnant until the moment of delivery I feel like I can’t breathe.  It’s like my nostrils shrink to the size of a pin head.  I have read about it and I know it’s normal, but it’s so frustrating to me or anyone sitting near me.
• Swollen toes (and ankles). When I was pregnant with one of my kids, my sweet brother was so kind to tell me I looked good except for my “cankles!”  Gotta love little brothers!
• Dry lips. I go through a lot of chapstick when I’m prego.  I think this goes with the eczema thing.  I guess I should be drinking a LOT more water.
• Nausea (of course). I am very fortunate to never throw up, but I get so nauseous that first trimester.  I have felt yuckier with every pregnancy.  I don’t remember being as sick with Preston, but I was 24 years old then.  I’m not anymore. :)  During the first trimester, I was nauseous if I ate, but more nauseous if I got hungry.  Nothing sounds good during that first trimester except for the things that really sound good, and you just have to eat what you need to eat to make it through that yucky stage.  If I let myself get hungry, bad things happen, and it’s hard to recover from pregnancy hunger.
• SLEEPINESS. The first trimester and the third make me SO tired.  It’s like something sucks the energy out of my body.  I was going to bed before 10 pm, and that is truly unheard of for me.
• SleepLESSness. Not only does pregnancy make me tired in general, but sometimes no matter how tired I am, I just can’t sleep.  Either baby is kicking, I’m having CRAZY dreams, I can’t get comfortable, I have back pain, or I’m up and down going to the bathroom (that could be a whole bullet point on it’s own)
• Curly Hair! My hair used to be straight.  It gets curlier with each pregnancy.  When big hair was in in the 90’s, my hair was straight, and would not hold curl for anything.  Now, straight hair is in, and mine keeps getting curlier with each pregnancy!
• Feeling like the baby is going to start waving at people. Ok, so this is my FOURTH pregnancy.  This baby is so low that I don’t know how in the world it will stay in there 4 more months.  That’s all I’ll say, but just know that when people tell you that each baby gets lower and lower, they’re not kidding!
• BIGGER, FASTER! Everything got bigger, faster.  It started in my rear end, and I looked like Kim Kardshian from day 1 with this pregnancy.  Then it moved to the belly.  When I was about 4 months pregnant with Preston (my FIRST child) Brad and I were registering for baby items.  I started talking to another pregnant woman who was about my height and stature, but I thought she looked MUCH farther along than I did.  She told me she was 4.5 months (about 2 weeks ahead of me) but that it was her 4th pregnancy.  Brad and I walked away from that conversation not sure how in the world her tummy could be so big at that point in her pregnancy with only one baby.  I patted myself on the back and asked for affirmation from my husband as I reminded him how lucky he was that I was barely showing.  Yes, tacky!  I know.  Well, don’t worry, I’m paying for my ugliness!  People, I weigh more right this minute than I did when I gave BIRTH to Lilly Katherine, and I have FOUR MORE MONTHS to go!  When you hear that whole thing about how you get bigger faster with each baby, it’s not a lie!  I looked 4 months pregnant from the moment I found out I was pregnant with this child.

I think I should stop before I lose all of you. :)  I know all you women out there who have been pregnant have more fun stories to offer.  Please share!  I love hearing about all the crazy things our bodies go through.  It would really make me feel more normal right now.  It might also make my poor husband feel like he’s not the only one who has a “side show” as a wife. :)

All that being said, I know that pregnancy is a GIFT FROM GOD, designed by God, and it is a special, wonderful time in a woman’s life.  I would not trade all those crazy things for anything in the world, because the outcome FAR outweighs the ugly things it does to my body.  I thank the LORD that he has enabled me to carry 4 special gifts.  I love the kicks, the wiggles, and the hiccups, and I even love being pregnant.  I am truly thankful for this opportunity, and I realize I am fortunate to be able to get pregnant, stay pregnant, and birth precious babies.  It is an amazing miracle, and I don’t know how anyone who has ever been pregnant could doubt that there is an Almighty God!

(This pic is from when P and LK saw A for the first time)

To those of you who are pregnant, enjoy it.

To those of you who are finished birthing children, enjoy having your body back.

To those of you who are longing to be pregnant, thank the Lord for the body you have, and then continue to pray for God’s amazing timing.

To those men reading this who are mortified, I’m sorry.  You should have stopped reading long ago.

To those  of you who know Brad, pray for him.  Do you see what he has to deal with?  :)

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Ok, your turn!  I would love to read your stories!!! :)

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